A while ago, I realized I had a relatively new pattern when it came to dating. After being pursued most of my life, I was suddenly the one doing the pursuing. I would call first, when I would always wait for the guy to call before… I would ask guys if they wanted to get together, when I would always wait for the guy to ask me out before… I would do the planning of dates, etc. This elicited some really wishy-washy behaviour from the men I was dealing with and left me feeling confused.
Recently someone reiterated to me that you have to be the type of person you wish to attract and that if I put more energy into becoming what I want, then I won’t have to force things. I understood what she was saying but not how I could apply it to my life. It seemed so complicated.
One day I finally got it! The roles had been reversed. I was pursuing the way others had pursued me and these men had been reacting the same way I had reacted. The reason? I wanted a man in my life but wanted to be in complete control of the situation.
In actuality, I didn’t even like doing the pursuing. It was the perfect opportunity to really take a look at myself and change some things…
Here is a list of qualities I admire and have yet to truly develop within myself….
1. Attentiveness. I’m a pretty bad listener. I don’t remember details about other people and can go on and on about myself. I even have a hard time remembering names. Because I see doting/fawning over someone as a weakness, I often don’t let people know on a regular basis that I like them, appreciate them, want them in my life, etc. Basically, I often come off as disinterested.
2. Working hard AND smart. Technically, I work very hard for what I have. But there’s working hard, and working smart. It’s hard to respect someone who stays in the same type of job when it’s failing to provide for them, out of sheer stubbornness. *Points finger at self* Guilty, guilty, guilty. I’m drawn to successful people and would like success without having to kill myself for it.
3. Health consciousness. If you don’t have your health, you really don’t have anything else. Everything works together. Optimum health involves mind, body, and spirit. I’ve just been getting onto this myself.
4. Straightforwardness. This is a big one. I’m an honest person but as much as I hate game playing, I’ve done it myself – led people on to see where it will take me, hidden information about myself, gotten together with men I wasn’t interested in solely for the company/social outing, etc.
5. Independence/Initiative – In the sense that you don’t have to rely on others to make decisions, tell you what you should be doing, get around, etc. I’m pretty hit and miss with this one. There are things I flat-out won’t do myself (eg. wash my car, weight train on my own, travel, etc.) that I really need to step up to.
All in all, my advice is that if there’s a trait you don’t like about someone else, you truly have to take a look at yourself and see if there’s even an ounce of that trait within yourself. If so, by all means, address it. One of the main concepts in the law of attraction is loving yourself first so that you can freely love others. Love yourself enough to do what it takes to be at your best.
Sumber : http://www.beautyinbalance.net/
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